I'll always remember and treasure my early days of blogging. I had found a blog called A Mom Without Facebook. It helped me to leave facebook behind but still gave me a sense of community! I remember linking up with some other Mommies with littles (that's where I was back then, not so much now!) and it made leaving facebook a lot more appealing. I remember I published a post about leaving facebook and shared it and the next day I got a phone call. It was a Mom friend of mine who thanked me for my post. She said that she had read it and it was everything she had on her mind- that she had been praying about doing the same thing and that she knew it was the time to do it. The next day I got an email from another friend. She said as she read it tears streamed down her eyes- that she knew I was speaking directly to her heart. She said that she wasn't leaving facebook but she had learned she needed to be more intentional about it, so I knew a hundred percent that I was doing the right thing.
Blogging was great, and I felt like I was growing and connecting. I knew a handful of people in my church who blogged, so it was nice to connect to them in that way. It was fun keeping up with them and it was my favorite hobby.
I think falling out of it was a slow fade. When we moved in 2016, I lost connection with the people who were blogging except for following them on their blogs. I did enjoy that, but in the years past that, with other social media on the rise they slowly fell away from blogging. I missed those days desperately and wanted them back. We were in a new community and I felt lonely, so the connections I had on my blog were really important to me. When they left I felt so sad. I did try to connect on facebook and instagram, but it never felt the same. Since I Had left years ago I couldn't get back into it, somehow I had changed- or social media had changed, but it just didn't feel the same anymore.
I slowly got back into it, and started a brand new blog about minimalism in 2020. I was excited about that, and I took it more public than I had before, sharing it with family members. Somehow it had faded by the summer and I just could not find what to write. It was an enormous writers block that I couldn't overcome.
I tried again when we relocated to this space. But I struggled, and have struggled ever since. back and forth, again and again. Trying to blog, trying to find my niche- but simply unable to do so. It just didn't feel the same. I spent so much time trying to make myself want to write, but it simply did not come naturally anymore.
I'm still there- I've struggled for some time, and I think its time to make a change.
I still love blogging. I still wish that I could be a blogger, but I really think I need a set amount of time away so I can focus, and hopefully find out what happened, and find my writers heart again.
I joined a brain retraining program, its called Brain Rewiring 360, and I'm so excited and hopeful about that! The plan recommends committing to 6 months of brain retraining.
I spent a good part of last year slowly reading Irresistible by Adam Atler, and throughout that book I have come to think that perhaps blogging went from some sort of beautiful and filling hobby to more of a behavioral addiction to me that I needed to overcome. He also mentioned that the best way to overcome an addiction is by replacement, not just taking it away... so hopefully that's what the program can do for me, replace my time and the void that is left when blogging is gone. For six months at least- maybe longer.
I know it seems strange to sit here and write a blog about leaving blogger- but for this moment in my life I know that is what I needed to do, and the few of you who have followed have been so kind. Most of you following me more than once- and I appreciate that so much more than you know. I've changed URLS, changed my blogger profile- struggled a lot with making domain names work and some of you have came back and hit that follow button again and again and I thank you for that. I hope that in six months if I return, I can still find your blogs and still will be able to catch up with you. I hope that fall will come and I can come back, full of wisdom and words to say- rather than just searching desperately for something to talk about.
I've felt this pull for sometime now- and even followed it once or twice, but I always run back out of fear. Fear that if I don't have this space, or something like it, that I will miss out. Something like- if I don't talk about it perhaps it matters a little less- and I do know how crazy that does sound.
So tonight I'll be deleting my instagram. I did leave a message similar to this with family and friends, letting them know my decision to step back and opt out for six months at least. Some of them expressed interest in keeping up, and having some updates on my Brain retraining class journey- so I decided I would write a monthly newsletter to email to them. If you would like to be added to that newsletter, leave me your email and I would be happy to add you. My comments section has been changed to the function where the comments have to be approved, so rather than posting your email, I will simply read your comment, jot down your email and delete it instead of having it posted publicly here on my blog. Either way, I would love you to join me.
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